Getaway

[23 Dec 2008 | Tuesday]

Getaway New Years...2009.... I have lived and have learned and have tried and have failed, but have succeeded in seeing what i needed to see to move forward.. to leave the place of which i thought was my comfort.. and voyage beyond all to start again. To rid myself of the past being in my present, to letting old feelings dwindle like a flame, to be put to rest like a soft goodbye into the night. My time has come and to be who i need to be this time is needed now more than ever. I have casted my shadows in places it is only a mere shadow, i have danced where my presence was unaccounted for, and i have loved where there was no home for my love to stay.. this year..2009 is my Getaway. i felt it in the air as it came as it passed through me, when it left i wasnt the same, everything changed i became my other name, call me Def see me gone - no longer here say fair well cuz im absent in your presence - ive set sail not out of spite not for you, thats the thing u see i bailed cuz i needed it to be about me, this is a story i cant tell but the tale is about nobody else, just a boy that for years, several years, he only lived for others joy where was his? it had hid then became lost in his voice was it his choice? no it never was my choice - my love jus deployed i became a heart - that would bleed for people other than me and i made mistakes - tried to fix - but they'd just repeat this could no longer be - i fell far from where i ought to be i would often see - mirages of things id been dodgin lost in the masses - my soul faking expressions became exhaustin so i lost it - said fuck a profit - i'll flop my hand to rid it of nonsense thru percaution to the wind - the story now comes to an end adrian met his match - deficit enhaled his sins then gained a 2nd wind - the storm raged like pirates @ worlds end my life up to this point has been so much like this whirlwind friendships come 2 an end - girlfriends stil girls but no longer friends sick to my stomach at what's becomin then saw where this is ive fallen upon the tip of the ledge -home to a my burnin bridge understand im learnin this - goodbye type of thing... saying to ppl i thought id never have to say it to but i just refuse to continue this emotional fight to clear my head and do what i know is wise.. the fire keeps burning brighter clearly trying to give me a sign... so i say goodbye to those.. ive loved more than my own life at one point in time and walk down a different line... ready to not be affraid - ive said it before but i mean it today gotta grow a wall - not an icebox - a love renegade personality grows back and stays - from my previous life i've strayed - not tryin to hurt feelings but i need this healing - so im preparing for my getaway... i think at some point people forgot i was human too... and my emotions are real like theres... and ive been subjected to so much... and its clear it seems they'll never understand... so here i am preparing to take flight...to heights without anyone and especially without those few...you and im sorry but i must depart ...to regain who i am so this is where the story begins to end....as i getaway